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Part IV
The root of difficult interactions may stem from the false beliefs and false identities we hold about ourselves

Before any type of change can happen between yourself and others, you need to be aware of where you are starting from within yourself. You need to be aware of two things:  what emotional state you are in and where your focus is.

When you know how you are feeling internally and where your focus is it is then much easier to walk yourself up into higher levels of emotional feeling states – higher vibrations.

All interactions with others rely on you being solidly in touch and in connection with your own centre – with yourself, because these interactions only work if you are taking loving care and loving responsibility for you in the moment. This is an equation that will never change.

You need to be able to begin from you and where you are now within yourself – is your heart open and caring towards you  OR  your heart is closed and you trying to control something (your feelings, others or a situation)?


There is nothing difficult in this. It just takes gentle observation of non-judgement.

Let us begin with how you are feeling right now in this very moment.

Would you be willing to gently observe if your heart is open, gentle and nurturing towards yourself? If yes, wonderful. Then you are already in a feeling state that allows you to move up to even higher vibrations of feeling and being.

If though you have shut your heart down you may want to notice if you could be coming up with thoughts and ideas that are making you feel bad? Thoughts and ideas that then slide you down into judgement about how you can’t get out of those states and how things are so difficult and how things don’t seem to be getting any better.  Maybe you tell yourself that things just don’t seem to be working out for you.

What if you knew? “I am the Source of me, I AM my own Creator and so I therefore create what my inner and outer experience of reality are right now.”


This means you get to choose. You are NO longer a victim of others or of circumstances.

Now notice if you would be willing to observe your inner dialogue with compassion? Do you know that you have learned from parents, grandparents, close relatives or school teachers how to be with yourself internally? We learned to be either authoritarian or go all the way to the other extreme and be permissive with ourselves.

Both are equally internally abandoning to your inner feeling self – your inner child. This is what is creating the inner turmoil of feeling “things aren’t working for me and this is so frustrating.”

So now that you have this information you can decide moment to moment what you want to create.

Here is a perfect personal example

This morning I was behind with my work and so the thought was “I’ll skip my meditation and get right to work so Emanuela can have this article to translate by today and I’ll do my mediation after lunch.” Then I noticed that I had also skipped breakfast and I skipped doing other self-care things for my internal state that I do every morning to make sure I begin my day in a state of Love. As I was writing, I noticed that my energetic state was descending and I was feeling tired and discouraged.

“Oh my goodness”, I thought, “look at what I am doing to myself!” I’ve put off eating, doing my meditation and my other daily things because I was in some sort of inner authoritarian state of ‘above anything and everything else get the work done first and then you can eat and do whatever else you need to do!’ I instantly saw my authoritarian adoptive mother at work within me.


I had the choice to either continue that self-abandonment or do something different

I decided that what I was doing was making me feel badly physically and emotionally and so I saved what I had written and went and made myself something to eat and I made myself a lovely cup of tea.

It is never wrong or selfish to take care of yourself first. People who are in relationships and who have children believe they need to mind their children and put their partners first before attending to their own inner needs.

What this actually does is create and set up an emotionally chaotic external environment for you and your loved ones.


Everyone is psychic

Believe it or not, people are psychic without even knowing it and will unconsciously treat you according to how you are treating yourself. They automatically pick up on the vibration you are sending out much like a broadcasting signal. Everyone including those you are closest to and strangers pick up your unconscious signals.


You have been given all of the brilliance and resources

The joyous truth is that you are your own Creator and God/Source/Love is here loving you completely and unconditionally and literally standing behind what you are creating.  Love/Source is supporting you in everything you create because It has given you free will.


How you get to create

One aspect of creation and transformation in the moment has to do with asking open-ended questions.  When you use open ended questions, you need to perceive and feel into the stuck-ness of what is going on in your internal world.  Whatever is feeling stuck, overwhelming or unmanageable to you is where you want to apply the tool of asking questions.

You do not want to figure it out or look for answers or solutions.


You want to leave space for Love to come in and provide you with all the possibilities that exist for you in this space time and reality.

When you use a question like, ‘how can I let this be easy?’ all you need to do is leave space and observe what happens internally and how you feel? Notice if you feel expansive and less stuck?  Do you notice that there is a generative and spacious type of feeling that is being evoked? This is the direction you want to go in with asking questions.


Here is a simple list of questions you can use throughout your day. You can also use multiple questions that are here below to help you set the vibrational tone for what you want to shift and carry out during your day.

– How can I let this be easy?

– What is this trying to get me to feel so I can breathe into it and release it?

– Am I willing to open my heart and allow Love/Source/God in?

– How is this returning me to Love?

– How can this return me to Love?

– Is this really serving me to think this way?

– What is really right, good and beautiful about me that I’m not seeing?

– What is good about this situation that I am not seeing?

– What if this isn’t true at all?

– What if something much greater is being asked of me?

– What else is possible here, right now?

– How can I let this moment be easy for me and let go of all judgement?

– How can I make this less significant and important?

– How can I allow this to be ok?

– What is special in this situation that I am not seeing?

– How can I ‘let go’ and enjoy this moment?

– How else can this go?

– How can I connect to Love/Source even stronger right now?

If anyone would like to write in about how you found this to work for you I would love to hear from you. Please let me know if I can share this with our group and if you would like to remain anonymous.




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