I began my early training back in 1992 in the theory of Traditional Chinese Medicine alongside training in Shiatsu and Jin Shin Do Acupressure. These wonderful oriental systems allowed me to make some profound connections between our body, our emotions and the higher part of ourselves. These modalities lit a deep curiosity inside of me because I was beginning to verify that our mind, our body and our spirit were interconnected and that every part of us was definitely affecting the whole of us.
It seemed like I was beginning to understand the link between our thoughts and emotions and chronic and acute illness. And, I was desperately trying to find a way to heal my own life. When I touched on this information, I spent many years delving deeply into what is called the MindBody Medicine model.
As I continued my practice in bodywork though, way too many people, I found, were wanting the physical treatment/massage as a way to avoid the deeper aspects of their personal struggles and painful feelings. I knew then that I needed to work at a deeper and more complete emotional level and so I began my counselling studies.
Over time and through studying and seeing clients, my awareness was expanding and over the years, I kept verifying that many of the illnesses that were plaguing so many of us, were deeply related to our subconscious psycho-emotional world and our ancestral lineage programming – and it was affecting our cells. I later began to witness and verify that the suffering from our ancestral lineage, was the suffering we carried within our cells. And, the ability to heal at such profound levels was part of our evolution here as spiritual beings.
I was coming into the understanding that every single atom of our existence was going be affected from and by our unconscious repressed pain if we didn’t do something to bring in healing and reclaim our wholeness.
I attended the private college in the UK, the International College of Eclectic Therapies, and there I received my diploma in Analytical & Psychotherapeutic Counselling. From there on and throughout time, I continued my studies in hypnosis, EMDR, Voice Dialogue, Inner Bonding, Rapid Cognitive Counselling, psycho-neuro-immunology, basic neuro-science, and The Belief Closet Process in the US and ACT belief restructuring in the UK.
As I continued to search, research and cherry pick from the sources that I believed would help undo the knots of the negative programming, I always came back to learning more and more about how our eternal subconscious mind held the key to the deeper emotional and spiritual freedom I was longing for.
It didn’t quite work out so perfectly, however. It felt messy for a long time and in between studying, learning, researching and working to survive on my own, my personal healing really took up a lot of space. I struggled for years trying to do everything I could to heal. Sometimes I didn’t think I’d make it through, but I managed to find loving, generous, incredibly supportive people who were experts in their field and who helped pull me through when I was seriously doubting myself.
I kept working and travelling and working on myself and made many wrong turns during the journey, trying to find my answers. Yet, my heart and my spirit were so dedicated to coming out of the darkness that I began to see meaning, profound meaning, in everything that I had lived through. And, what would fulfil me most was assisting others from my own learning by helping them through their own abusive painful experiences. I knew that I had to do it for myself first. I had to find the wounded child within me and reveal to myself how truly magnificent a being she was.
Some part deep inside me wanted to dedicate the rest of my time to learning about love and, about the fear that wasn’t allowing me to open my heart fully. Healing through Love was becoming the main aim of my work.
I continued my journey and worked between the US, Italy and the UK and felt privileged to be able to enter into significant areas such as the entertainment business assisting comedians, musicians and actors in Peak Performance coaching through healing the faulty beliefs that were holding them back.
And when I was in Italy I worked in the head & neck oncology division at the National Cancer Institute – (Istituto di Tumori) in Genova applying the MindBody medicine model and deepening my understanding of psycho-neuro-immunology. It was here, once again, that I was able to verify that cancer, just like any other illness, wasn’t something that just happened to someone – it had very definite reasons for manifesting itself.
In July, 2008, I brought my patient’s inspiring stories and the wonderful shifts they were making to the 7th Annual American Head & Neck Society Conference in San Francisco where I brought the results from the psycho-neuro-immunology protocol I was doing with patients who had advanced cancer.
All these years my spirit kept pointing me in the direction of working with the deeper aspects of the unconscious mind and the ability that the mindbody system has in shifting realities and perceptions. This had later brought me to adding another piece to my puzzle when I read the pocket size edition of Verbal Antidotes, that my mentor, Georges Philips and his partner Tony Jennings published in the UK.
This little pocket edition really affected me and my understanding of toxic thoughts and therefore toxic language and how to make our unconscious language patterns, conscious. It was just like an alchemical process for me and I knew that if we changed the way we spoke to and thought about ourselves, life would become brighter. Things would change.
Georges was inspired by my idea of revisiting his and Tony’s work and gave me permission to add pieces and publish the Italian edition of ‘Antidoti Verbali’, (Verbal Antidotes).
The reasons I have for doing this work are many and are compelling for me as I leave older awareness’s and ways of being and move into a deeper, richer and more expansive realities.
I know the thoughts and feelings that lead those of us with painful and abusive childhood experiences to secretly ask ourselves, “Am I ever going to be free of my past? Is the pain and the pervading sense of worthlessness and un-deservingness ever going to leave me? Am I ever going to get on with my life?”
I have spent many years since my early 20’s healing the feeling of brokenness that had pervaded almost every aspect of my waking existence as I learned to embrace the profound meaning behind having been abandoned by my biological mother at birth and then adopted into an extremely dysfunctional and violent family.
My body was brutalised and my mind and my heart felt devastated as I tried to pull myself together and understand what had happened and what I was meant to do with it all. This has been a life-long process.
But, no matter how broken my heart felt, it has always carried a smile from some deep corner of myself as my climb towards my spiritual core drove and motivated me to continue what felt like an ascent. No matter what.
I know the desperate and fearful places you go to when most of your life seems to be on hold and upside down and where nothing seems to be working. I know the dysfunctional relationships where the unlovingness can cause you to question your sense of reality and sanity, the self-doubt about your ability to create that which you want, the fear of loving and opening to your vulnerability, the fear and insecurities of never being enough, the guilt and confusion of abuse being your fault, and the pervading shame that lingers for years along with the constant wondering “what am I doing here”?
I can tell you now that the self-doubt and fear dissipates in the light of hope, patience, compassion and the profound sweetness that accompanies this path to self-love and self-acceptance. Nothing can be more profound than experiencing your own deep desire to heal through love, and, how learning to love yourself will always overcome the feelings of darkness and despair. If you are willing to open to your own pain from a sincere and humble place, you will heal.
When I am not working, I love walking, riding my bicycle, playing with colours and experimenting with painting and just letting my inner child enjoy herself and catch up with being light, silly and having fun. I also very much enjoy going to the alps here in Italy and being near the glaciers where I one-day hope to be in shape enough to make it up to the top of the first and the lowest of the Bernina glacier chain in Switzerland.